Poker Jokes: How to bluff
On the line in a canteen, a Vietnamese student in his hurry poured out his soup over a sturdy local guy innocently waiting close to him. The Vietnamese student ordered the local student, “Apologize!”, and then continued to the tables. The sturdy guy blinked twice and muttered, “Apologies!” and then he started wiping the soup off him. A second later the Vietnamese student came back running and said, “Me have mistaken the word, I meant “apologies”!”
Conclusion: This is how one bluffs, or this is the beginner’s luck.
Blond girls poker jokes
A question: How does a blond girl kill a fish?
Answer: By trying to drown it. (in money)
Bat-Beat poker jokes
Someone asked the Yerevan Radio, “What is the worst thing about a bat-beat?”
The Erevan Radio immediately replied, “That, which follows it!”
Forum poker jokes
Two guys using the same forum met by chance at the table. After a while, one of them asked, “Say, man, what do you think about that guy over there?”
“And you?”, asked the other.
“I am thinking about him the same as you.”
Freeroll poker jokes
“What did you and those guys say to each other after you dropped out of the freeroll tournament last night?”
“ Do I have to skip the part with the cursing?”
“Yes.”
“Then, nothing!”
Career poker jokes
Some poker-players pass through 3 phases in their career:
1. They believe in a gutshot straight draw
2. They do not believe in a gutshot straight draw
3. They represent a gutshot straight draw
Donk poker jokes
A donk started thinking and it liked it. Then it thought again.
Vegas poker jokes
Some Japanese guy won a satellite for a tournament in Vegas but he did not know the language, therefore he carried a phrase-book with him.
After one certain hand, he took out the phrase book and said, “Fucking... yes!”
Blond girl slow play poker jokes
A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?”
The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
poker jokes: home games
A guy was playing home poker and then one of his opponents folded a set and showed it saying “You have a straight”… and then the straights and flushes started…..
STG poker jokes
There were three people left in a STG:
“I know in which position you will be after up to 30 hands.”
“How come? Have you read my horoscope?”
“No, I switched in the HUD and I saw your stats…”
Hold'em manager poker jokes
“Have you seen a fish, hiding between the statistics of Hold’em Manager?”
“No.”
“Of course you haven’t, it is supposed to be hiding!”
Donk poker jokes
A donk was sitting when suddenly he heard some noise in his head. The donk asked, “Who’s there?”
“I am a brain-eating worm!”
“And what are you doing there?”
“I’m starving!!!”
Poker Jokes and the aborigines
Some aborigines caught a Nit, a calling station and a maniac somewhere in Africa. The aborigines were considering what to do with them and finally said, “Now we shall tie you up naked and we shall lash you 100 times with a whip. However, before that you are entitled to one wish.”
The nit was first, so he asked the aborigines to tie 15 pillows to his back. Still, after the twentieth whiplash, his back was naked again. Then the calling station asked for 30 pillows to his back but after the twenty-fifth whiplash, they tore too.
The maniac was last. When it was his turn, he laughed out and said his wish, “I want you to tie those two to my back and double my punishment!”
